Go thru!
Everyone goes thru hard times and married couples are of no exception. A popular misconception though is that just because there are 2 people involved one or both of them have to just get over whatever they are going thru in order to get by.
1. That totally dismisses the issue at hand and asks one or both of them to bury their feelings. Eventually those feelings (regarding whatever the issue is) will fester and mutate into something else and something as simple as the dishes not being down will blow up into a big thing.
2. Does NOT reconnect the couple back together and creates a sense of, oh well we are just stuck in this now. This eventually turns into resentment and possibly leads down other avenues that could be destructive to the relationship.
Having found out first hand, there is a big difference between getting over something and getting thru something. Imagine drilling a hole deep into the ground and you come across a huge rock, you have 2 options, dig around that rock or dig thru that rock. Around is of course the easier option but then that rock always remains a obstacle to go around. I say go thru, it is going to take some time and some heavy lifting, but after all is said and done, you will be stronger for your efforts.
How do we do this? How do we go thru?
First of all, you need to have a heart for it. Nothing done, without full effort will ever come to full fruition. That means, regardless of how hard the fight, you are not even willing to consider giving up. This is why many marriages fail, When options other than unity are on the table there is always going to be someone to consider taking it. When your own option is that "Hey babe, we are going to do this and we will be successful." That is exactly what will happen. You need a icon clad will for success as a couple. If one of you is weak, Jesus prayed in Luke 22:32 "...that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." That leads to the second point...
You need to pray! Pray for strength, stamina and unity among other things. Any fight worth fighting is going to be long and exhausting. Giving up in the middle is a sure fire way to hit the reset button and cause even more problems. Once you start, you will need the strength to finish, don't give up! In Deuteronomy 31:6 (in the message Bible) is says "Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you."
Take a look at that for a moment, Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated... don't even give them a second thought. God is with you and ahead of you, nothing is going to get passed God that has the ability to rattle you. He is there for you and he won't let you down, he won't leave you!
Going thru problems in your marriage, this is definitely going a reference point for you to look back at. God has already laid out the path for your victory, all you two have to do is to walk in it.
Pray for unity, when you 2 declared your love and relationship before God you became 1 flesh. Read over and meditate on Colossians 3:12-17. However, looking closely at verse 15-17, "Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." When you both make and keep God as the central focus of your relationship, He will keep your marriage strong.
With that said, give God a try. We all go thru things, some of us around or over things, but lets focus on going thru things with God as our focus, together.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 - And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
1. That totally dismisses the issue at hand and asks one or both of them to bury their feelings. Eventually those feelings (regarding whatever the issue is) will fester and mutate into something else and something as simple as the dishes not being down will blow up into a big thing.
2. Does NOT reconnect the couple back together and creates a sense of, oh well we are just stuck in this now. This eventually turns into resentment and possibly leads down other avenues that could be destructive to the relationship.
Having found out first hand, there is a big difference between getting over something and getting thru something. Imagine drilling a hole deep into the ground and you come across a huge rock, you have 2 options, dig around that rock or dig thru that rock. Around is of course the easier option but then that rock always remains a obstacle to go around. I say go thru, it is going to take some time and some heavy lifting, but after all is said and done, you will be stronger for your efforts.
How do we do this? How do we go thru?
First of all, you need to have a heart for it. Nothing done, without full effort will ever come to full fruition. That means, regardless of how hard the fight, you are not even willing to consider giving up. This is why many marriages fail, When options other than unity are on the table there is always going to be someone to consider taking it. When your own option is that "Hey babe, we are going to do this and we will be successful." That is exactly what will happen. You need a icon clad will for success as a couple. If one of you is weak, Jesus prayed in Luke 22:32 "...that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." That leads to the second point...
You need to pray! Pray for strength, stamina and unity among other things. Any fight worth fighting is going to be long and exhausting. Giving up in the middle is a sure fire way to hit the reset button and cause even more problems. Once you start, you will need the strength to finish, don't give up! In Deuteronomy 31:6 (in the message Bible) is says "Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you."
Take a look at that for a moment, Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated... don't even give them a second thought. God is with you and ahead of you, nothing is going to get passed God that has the ability to rattle you. He is there for you and he won't let you down, he won't leave you!
Going thru problems in your marriage, this is definitely going a reference point for you to look back at. God has already laid out the path for your victory, all you two have to do is to walk in it.
Pray for unity, when you 2 declared your love and relationship before God you became 1 flesh. Read over and meditate on Colossians 3:12-17. However, looking closely at verse 15-17, "Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." When you both make and keep God as the central focus of your relationship, He will keep your marriage strong.
With that said, give God a try. We all go thru things, some of us around or over things, but lets focus on going thru things with God as our focus, together.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 - And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Comments
Post a Comment