Marriage: The 3rd ring

... is probably one of the hardest concepts to understand concerning marriage, but hands down the most thrilling and rewarding. Like most people out there, I know, I am not perfect. I make mistakes, some that could have had a detrimental impact on not just my marriage to my wife, but to my soul and spirituality. I had the problem that most guys deal with, pride and a emotionally stunted heart. Sure, I have always considered myself a nice enough guy, but emotionally for a really long time, I was emotionally devoid of, well, a heart. I guess you could have called me the Tin Man! Unlike the Tin Man however, I was not looking for the Yellow Brick road nor was I looking for my Dorothy to help me get to the man that would fix me up! The thing about complacency and depression and being stuck in darkness for a really long time, you get used to it. Ever try to open your eyes in the sunlight after being in a dark room for an extended time? Well guess what, it hurts! Being the Tin Man that I w...

Whats holding your marriage together? Have you ever stopped to really think about that. Is it the kids, or is it finances? Is it guilt, or fear? Or is it commitment, or love? There is at least one marriage out there that one of these things above is what they feel is holding their marriage together. But what happens when the children grow up and move out? What happens when one feels like they now make enough money to be on their own, so finances are not a factor? What happens when the guilty party  doesn't have the guilt anymore? What happens if someone breaks the commitment? Or what happens is the fairytale is over and it feels like the love has faded? Is there still a marriage, will you stay and work it out? Or has the key ingredient to holding your marriage together been missing all along? Me and my husband learned not too long ago that even if we didn't feel like we loved each other at times, if we truly loved God that was enough to work through anything. How do...

As I write this, I am sitting here reflecting over my life over the past year, the grace of God, the blessings and grace that I have reaped because of my family and I just thank God for it all! Things this time right now as I celebrate my 34th birthday could be so  different, but because I made the choice within my soul, that I love God, not just the things of God, but God himself, things have turned around in a way I could not have even imagined! My marriage has not always been a bed of roses, nor has it always felt like we involved the love of Christ in it, but when we made a conscious decision that we were not just married to each other, that we were married to Christ as well, things changed! Not just in our marriage though, but my whole outlook on life! I posted on my personal Facebook page the other day that hindsight is a wonderful thing! Tho we can't change anything in our past, but if you knew now when you knew years ago, I am sure most if not all of you would say that ...

Sometimes in marriage as well as in life we find ourselves dwelling on the past.   Whether it was something big or small, it doesn't really matter because it was significant enough to remain in our memory. I met a couple and decades had past and they were still together. But hadn't forgot the past and it was still hurtful. Isaiah   43:18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. What if God dwelled on our past?   Yes we're human we can forgive, but not forget. But when unwanted thoughts of the past come in our mind our job is to kick them out. The enemy is always busy and he wants to destroy marriages any way he can. And if we give a home to the thoughts and let them flourish its not healthy for us or our marriage. Pray, trust God and if y'all made it through it. Leave it. Philippians   3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unt...

Just an encouraging word for someone out there today... I realize that there are many people out there that are hurt and frustrated, just like I used to be. I realize this, that life sometimes, just isn't fair. Things happen that you just can't control and why you right? I've heard it all before and will probably someday right a book about it, but until YOU decide to move on, that is exactly where you will stay. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. So decide to stay right there where you are, or get over yourself and everyone else, and MOVE! The thing about moving, the hardest part in moving is the act itself, but many hands make for lite work. Go call your friends and family, the reliable ones, that you know don't mind helping you out! You know who that is too! Where you decide to stay emotionally is completely up to you. You must make a choice on who you are going to be, if you can't make a choice or your ego is too big to get over, t...

TRUST is it easy for you to do? Well if it is that's good because trust doesn't come easy to most people. Especially when you try to put your trust in people.  We all have been let down by people we trusted before and some of us have let people down who trusted us. So let's just say people your trust in people sometimes doesn't sound so promising. My husband told me one day if you can't trust me then trust God. And if you're like me you're thinking that's a "Mack line" and any woman who falls for that is getting played. But then I thought about it and what he was saying was we're not suppose to put all our trust in people. Our trust should first always be in God and buy trusting in God we're trusting him you have our best interest at heart,  trusting him that if he brings us to a storm in our lives he'll bring us through it . Tye Tribett has a song called "No other choice" which states "I have no other choice ...

I came to the realization that a happy marriage involves 2 things. (1) A choice and (2) the love that you have in your marriage should be a reflection that you have for God! It took a long time for me to come to this but if you want to be happy, then choose to be happy, first thing though, you have to love God. If you love God, then there are certain things you just can not do and your interactions with people and your own actions must reflect that. I dealt with depression for so long because of things that had happened to me, things I did myself and was sad most of the time because I did not know how to change them. It was not until I was given a choice to say that I love God, which I do, and then to act like it.  As a child of God, you have inalienable rights (rights that can not be surrendered) to go to God the Father and ask for the desires of your heart. My kids, because I am their Father, can come to me and ask me for anything, so long as it lines up with something that I...

We make time for what we want right? Of course, you do. You want to watch that football game, or sit idly on the computer right? I know how hard it is to purposefully do something, especially something for your marriage, but it must be done! For years, I lived life on auto pilot, I went to work, paid bills, helped the kids out with their homework and went to sleep. I know how easy it is to fall into that routine of living day in and day out, doing the same things for years on end and not noticing how things drift. Things are much better now, especially since God has shown me myself, but it was not always like this.  Men, your wives are the field, you can only blame yourselves for the harvest. The effort you put into her is a direct reflection on what you receive. You, man of God, are the head of your household. So why not take time out of your busy day and prove your love and loyalty to the woman whose flesh was formed from your rib. It does not have to be a big gesture, no...

The mind is a tricky tool and sometimes we allows it to over power us, if we're not careful. It can also cause us to think we have problems or help us create problems due to over thinking. My husband once read me a post sing "I got 99 problems and 97 of them I made up in my own head" it was funny to both of us because I'm a thinker and if we allow him the enemy work attack our mind our piece and or happiness. Which will cause us to have problems in our marriages. Isaiah 26:3 says Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace,whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. So keeping our mind focused on God will ease our mind.  And gives us peace in our lives, minds,  and our marriages.

Marriage without the third ring Trying to have a marriage without the third ring will cause you to have worries, doubts and fears in the midst of troubling times, which will lead to a breakdown in communication and frustration. Having God as the centerpiece in your marriage and in your both of your lives gives you a certain ease to know that, no things aren't always going to be easy, but all things will and must work for the good of them that love God and are called according to His purpose.  You have to know that both you and your spouses' goal for your marriage is to please God above everything else because God honors marriage, if your marriage honors God, according to 1 Samuel 2:30  He will honor yours. But without keeping focus on God it will allow fleshly desires to seep in and allow yourself to disconnect from that third ring, making it easier to allow yourself to disconnect from each other any time something bad happens.  If God is not binding you t...

If you are reading this then you either desire to know what the 3rd ring is, already know what the 3rd ring is or still in search of your second ring. In either case this will be a learning experience for all,  because as God leads us to what to say, we post it here. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. This will be the focus and theme of this blog, to demonstrate not only the purpose of binding each other together, but binding yourselves together to God. The third ring... ~ Charles & LaTia Hampton